Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Fashion Blogger Blues

Hey loves,

Today I wanted to have an open and honest transparent moment with you. I wanted to share my struggles with being a fashion blogger. There is nothing that I love more than fashion so it was  natural for me to have a desire to share my first love with the world. Hence, StyleIsShe was born!!!! I love my blog, it's my baby. It is so amazing to be able to document my fashion journey and share it. But it is even more amazing to be able to go back and see how I've changed and how my fashion has evolved through the years. Since starting my blog I have found that it is hard to NOT feel the need to always be "on". By "on" I mean dressed to the gawds with a beat face and  heels higher than Bobby Brown in the 90's. Despite my best efforts, I am just not that girl 365 days of the year. I am just not her. I can give about 280 days but those other days I want nothing more than to look a mess and feel comfortable. LOL I hate the time it takes me to find something to wear and the mess I make in my closet looking for the "perfect look". Sometimes I stand in my closet afterwards and ask myself "who is gonna clean this shit up?" I am analytical and overly critical of what I wear, so I usually try on several things before I decide on something. Most often it leads to frustration but the end result is well worth it.  Truth is, it takes forever to put on make up. Who wants to spend 45 minutes in the mirror with their mouth wide open? Let's face it, I know I am not the only one who can't put on mascara or eye liner with a closed mouth. LOL  Don't get me wrong I love it when I have an ole nasty Ike Turner beat on my face, but putting it on and taking it off is a chore. Not to mention buying it is another bill. But hey it's all in the name of fashion and beauty right???  Truth be told when I'm out thrifting and grocery shopping, I'm usually dressed allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way down and by all the way down I mean straight bum mode. Much like the Ghetto Boys I keep looking over my shoulders and peeping around corners praying to the fashion Gawds, I don't run into anyone I know, especially my readers/fans. I recognize that I am no celebrity and honestly I don't see how they do it. If they have an off day, it is plastered all over the magazines, blogs and the King James version of the Bible. Truth is, we as a society ridicule and demean celebs for being normal human beings are having an off day. I too am guilty of banging my gavel and judging when I think they are not looking up to par. So me knowing how quick I am to read the girls for filth and turn the page, I know the library can be opened up on me as well. Don't get me wrong, I am comfortable with who I am, however, the public eye never blinks and people are waiting for you to take a fall from grace. They are looking for a reason to talk, they are waiting for you to have a gag worthy moment (in a bad way) for them to gossip about. For those reasons it is hard to not want to keep up the persona of who they see in the pictures posted on the internet. Heavy sigh.....

March of last year I fell ill and I've been battling with my health every since. To this very day doctors still haven't found 100% what the cause is. So many days I have no energy and no desire to be Style Is She. Hell I barely have the effort to be NeShanta, Tony's wife and Malique's mom. The struggle with my health and slight weight gain and loss of interest in getting dressed most days leaves me with a mound of building anxiety about leaving the house and running into people I know or people I don't know that know me. It is a struggle that sometimes results in me staying home. In the grand scheme of things I really just want to feel better. I want my energy back, I want to be able to work out consistently again. I want to be able to get excited about going out again. Right now it feels like a chore and nobody likes chores. Truthfully, there are days I dread because I just don't feel like going through the hoopla of getting dressed. I have missed so many events and life changing moments just because I didn't have a desire to be "on" I didn't feel like being "StyleIsShe" Like it or not I am her and she is me but it has become more of a struggle to keep her together lately. When your 14 year old tells you that you look a mess. You have to reevaluate some things. I mean that is once the desire to slap his face off leaves. LOL

However, I love fashion, blogging, my clients and my readers, so I push through. I push through because I don't want to disappoint, and I have goals set for myself and allowing myself to fall victim to whatever this illness is won't help me reach my goals. Thank you to all of my friends and family. Thank you to my loyal readers. It felt good to have this release.



Sigh, I've got the fashion blogger blues!!!!


23 comments:

  1. Thanks for this post bc considering that I just started blogging back in October 2013, I fell in a rut over the past few weeks bc of the snow and icey weather that the South has had, but I love it so far and a lot of people have been very receptive to it. It is inspiring! I hope you feel better and I am sure your readers understand that you are human.

    Te'Rea
    www.chic-n-everything.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. TeRea,
      You are so welcome love, I'm glad that my words were not in vein. This won't be the first or last rut you fall into. Just remember why you started blogging the first place and it will make things better.

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  2. This was a very genuine post. I applaud you for sharing this!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Hanz. You are always in my corner.

      XOXO

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  3. Love the sincerity, its what makes you whole & human. Your always fabulous in my eyes! Xoxo

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  4. Love the sincerity, its what make you whole & human. Your always fabulous In my eyes!

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  5. I pray the doctors find out what is going on and that your health is back to 100% soon.

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  6. I pray that doctors find out what is 100% going on and that your health is 100% back soon.

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    Replies
    1. Dee Dee,
      Thank you so much for your prayers. It really means alot.

      NeShanta

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  7. I LOVE reading open letters and folks being honest on their blogs... AUTHENTICITY at it BEST is what I RESPECT most about bloggers. It's OK NeShanta... don't beat yourself up. Your HEALTH is way more important than been "BEAT" to the GAWDS. We all have witness her, she... "Stye is She" (YOU) so we know that you can bring it! HELL, (oops, did I just say that - NOT the church lady). lol But you already BROUGHT it. Most of the folks, who sit back and talk don't know half the story and have NOTHING better to do but JUDGE others while they are probably struggling with something way worse and the other half are just plain ole MISERABLE!!!!!

    As for the celebs hunni them folks have to have tough skin bcuz the public gives it to them. I mean REALLY - I read so many of those IG comments and they make me sick to my stomach I don't know how they do it! "Thick Skin and GOD" has to play a major part. At the end of the day you are only human and if taken a few fashion days off to get back in the swing of things so be it... Folks, WHO truly matter will TRULY understand!!!! I've been there before... where I couldn't move yet along blog and it was what it was. I've gotten to the point where I don't owe anyone any apology... NO, I don't want to dissappoint my blog readers but LIFE happens and WE MUST LIVE! That's apart of who we are. In the meantime and in between time... I'm praying 100% FULL recovery for ya!!!! Take Care!!!!

    *Peace & Love*
    Xoxo
    Lynn

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    Replies
    1. Lynn,
      You are so right. Thank you so much for your kind words. I am really working on learning to be ok with taking time off so I can get back to normal. Thanks again love. XOXO

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  9. I love your honesty! I'm currently experiencing the fashion blogger blues as well. I sure do hope you feel better soon!

    Miss Rockwell
    http://thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Raquel,
      Thank you so much. You deserve to have the blues, you are a new mom. Take care of that baby, blogging will be here.

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  10. Wow, I can totally relate to your post. I pray that your lack of energy is just hormonal. As women our bodies undergo a lot. Consider takin a good multivitamin.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. I will invest in a better vitamin.

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  11. Just as u stated, as far as staying SLAYED, not even the best of them can do that. If something looks too Gud to be true, it probably is!! U inspire me so thank God for your "good days". Be Blessed

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  12. The struggle is so real! We have to just keep praying and getting back up. Luv your blog Neshanta and thanks for sharing a piece of your world with us. I hope your March is filled with numerous blessings!

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  15. Love reading your experiences, we are always inspire by the true story and your do the same.

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